Publish date: 21 November 2022
My name is Jason Mcgookin, I work in the Vocational Development Department at West London NHS Trust.
I have always been an advocate for those who may have a disability whether it is a visible disability such as physical, or those with invisible disabilities such as cognitive impairments, neurological and learning disabilities. I work alongside Project choice where young adults may have some form of Learning Disability, and I work with them to build confidence professionalism and be work ready.
Rewind to 5 months ago. I was active and healthy with no disabilities. I started having pain on my left side of face and head, which disappeared, only to come onto the right side bringing with it vertigo and tinnitus. There were times I couldn’t walk or sleep due to the dizziness and loud buzzing in my right ear. I then experienced sudden hearing loss on the right side which I took steroids for and following various ENT appointments my hearing came back, but now I can’t separate noises so crowded areas become hard to be around at times. It’s called ‘Queried Audio vestibular disorder’.
Soon after this I got Covid-19, which to be fair didn’t affect me too badly like it has others. But weeks after testing negative, I had bad brain fog. I was unable to concentrate, take in information and had trouble reading and typing. Things seems jumbled.
Having an invisible disability or impairment can be just as devastating as a visible disability or impairment.
I then started having trouble with my speech, having blocks where I couldn’t get words out. I knew what I wanted to say but it wouldn’t come out my mouth. This went on for days until I woke up with a full blown stutter where I’d stutter on nearly every word. Along with the stammer I began having hand tremors which is more noticeable when lifting a cup to drink.
The most frustrating thing, apart from no answers as to why this has happened, is my stammer/stutter. I love to chat, it might be part nonsense but I love to talk, the stammer has hindered me to an extent.
I feel I have or I am losing part of myself and personality, as I can no longer express myself like I normally would have. I joke less because by the time I get out what I want to say the moment has gone. I no longer go out of my way to talk to others and I sometimes avoid groups, as people judge or laugh not all, but some.
My manager and Learning and Development have been great and understanding. My manager has put in reasonable adjustments to help support me.
There are other support systems out there that I have reached out to such as Health at work and also counselling I’d recommend if you feel you need it.
Having an invisible disability or impairment can be just as devastating as a visible disability/Impairment.
On a positive note I look towards my abilities, what I can do rather than what I can’t do.
Advice for those who haven’t engaged with someone who stammers/stutters.
Do’s
- Give us time to say what we need to say.
- Keep eye contact.
- Treat us the same way you treat anyone else.
Dont’s
- Laugh and copy us.
- Please don’t finish our sentences, we know what we want to say and you will probably get it wrong most times. We know you only want to help.
- Tell us to spit it out.
- Tell us to slow down/ breathe, trust me we do.